When the purpose is unified, it reduces unnecessary dissipation and increases the productivity level of both parties.
Welcome back to the second part of my story. Starting with the questions I asked in the last article;
As a married person, you might ask; so how do I make progress from this current reality? I remembered saying that staying with “BLAMING SELF” would only make the right decisions more blurry.
There is no solution in a worry zone. The mind will not be in the right state to think of the solution.
I feel you might want to consider calling your partner’s attention to this. Now, I don’t expect that you just call for a discussion abruptly. This is something you should have thought through beginning with the end in mind.
What outcome are you expecting?
You might want to check which statements are closest to your desire.
Harmonized plans, goals, views or interests in these areas.
An outcome that will make both parties happy together, yet excited living your individual life fully.
When you get to that point of sitting together to go through this, get writing materials and make list comprising the following:
(To be written individually without consulting each other)
What are the things I like about this marriage?
What are the things I don’t like about this marriage?
Which part of the first point am I contributing to this marriage?
Which part of the second point stated above am I contributing to this marriage?
What am I willing to do to make the first point better?
What am I willing to do to stop what I contribute in the second point?
After making the list, exchange what you wrote with your partner and ask yourself what to do to help your partner achieve his or her desires and set goals.
Do not expect changes overnight. Tell yourself that you are committed to making this work. Work at this and start taking steps towards the new decisions made.
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