Someone once quoted that;

“You don’t get wormy apples off a healthy tree, nor good apples off a diseased tree. The health of the apple tells the health of the tree. You must begin with your own life-giving lives. It’s who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.

I put it in my own way that;

“The State of a Relationship Cannot Be Better Than The Quality of The Partners in That Relationship”.

It is not the relationship that makes people bad. It is who people are that determine what becomes of the relationship.

When your attention is taken from improving “YOU”, you might be seeing your partner as the only one causing the challenge in your relationship. Yes, sometimes, it could be your partner, but some other times, it could actually be you.

How can you differentiate this?

Well, being open to learning and correction can help you see things from an objective point of view. You will also need humility to admit when you are wrong. Beyond admitting, taking responsibility for those actions will help you resolve a lot of inevitable issues that will crop up between you and your partner. In fact, there are times you might have to say sorry, not necessarily because you are wrong, but because of how delicate the issues are. You don’t want issues to spin out of control, do you?

This comes from time to time to test your level of maturity over your emotions.
Therefore, when issues come up, how you respond or the attitude you give can be traced back to who you are and how you are wired.

In my counselling experience, I have discovered certain factors responsible for challenges in a relationship.
We can as well say some entrenched traits or nature that people express in their relationships.

Can you identify with or attribute anyone to your partner from the points below?

1. Culture. What form of beliefs drives your behaviour?
2. Communication. How effective is your communication style?
3. Ignorance. How much do you know about the essence of a relationship and how the whole dynamics work?
4. Insecurity. Are you an empowered is disempowered individual? Must you be validated before you know your worth?
5. Selfishness. Are you the perfect person whose views or opinions override the other person at all time?
6. Immaturity. How much absorbing strength have you developed to aid your journey through the bumpy ride in your relationship?

Let us start focusing and working more on ourselves in order to enhance the value we bring to the relationship. The better each person gets, the more likely the relationship gets better.

More issues will be resolved when each party applies this first to self before looking at how he or she can help out with the partner’s possible areas of weaknesses.

You can book an appointment to run sessions on any possible causes that resonate strongly in your relationship.

You can experience bliss in your relationship!