There is a true life story of a boy who was born out of wedlock and had to move in with his father when he got married to a different woman. The stepmother readily accepted him into the family but made sure that he did most of the work in the house. He was subjected to a lot of hard work as he grew into adulthood. He noticed while growing up that his step mother never treated her own biological children same way he treated him. He felt so bad about this kind of treatment but could do nothing about the situation. He realized that the other children got away with things he was not given the permission to do. They practically got away with everything while he never got away with anything.They got all they wanted while he got what he was allowed to get. He was more or less treated as the slave while they were treated as the royals.
Gratefully, the father was very supportive of his education. He never joked with his education. The boy therefore decided that the double standard treatment will not deter him from acting right and focusing on his education. He went through college and university, and graduated with a very good grade.
At his graduation, he reflected on his past experiences and highlighted the lessons learnt during the “Unpleasant Experience”.
Lessons; 1. Good home management.
2. Good financial management.
3. Ability to raise children.
4. Developed the inner strength to handle any difficult situation.
5. Developed the right heart to interpret the unfair situation as an opportunity to learn and not be bitter.
He went on to describe how during the period he felt like running away from the house. He went further to state other thoughts that came to him.
Such thoughts as;
1. Taking revenge on his siblings, the biological children of his step mother. 2. Running away from home. Somehow, the feeling suggested that he would make it in life if he could get out of that hostile environment. 3. Hating his step mother. 4. Getting angry with his father for not being able to put his step mother in her place because of him. 5. Determined to take revenge on any lady that came his way for all he had been through in the hands of his step mother. He believed that all ladies were the same and therefore needed to be dealt with as such. 6. All women as being equally bad or capable of being bad.
You might be wondering why this guy could think this way. The bitter truth is that we have many people in same shoes thinking exactly the same way. It is not whether it is possible or not. It is how many of the people in this category do we have in our world? The focus of this article is in two folds. The first is for someone who has not had such an experience as this. The second category is for someone who is currently hurting from a similar scenario. My candid advice is stated below in addition to the lessons learnt by the guy as mentioned earlier.
a. This article does not encourage a step parent to act rashly towards any step relation. But in the event that you suffer from such, try to admit that two wrongs cannot make a right. Getting angry can get one frustrated and push one to do the unthinkable. But try to view what the outcome of such an approach would bring to the existing circumstances. It can become worse than it has been explained here. But you need help from God to remain resilient and determined to look beyond the issue and see the bigger picture of a better you. This you can adopt, especially when either your own biological father or mother is supportive. You will also need a professional counsel to guide your decisions during this critical phase of your life so that you don’t miss it and lose out at the end of the day.
b. You need to use the negative circumstances to compel yourself to be diligent and focus on getting ahead in life. It must never be allowed to destroy your life by making you sink into depression and hurt. It is not a good state to be. It has a way of attracting negative vices and occurrences your way. It also has a way of painting life in an ugly way and not allowing you to see the sweetness and the beauty of life.
c. Do not allow hurt take hold of your heart. This has the ability of reproducing itself in your life. What you hate being done to you interestingly, you will find yourself playing out at the opportune time in your later years. You will equally need the help of God and professional counsel to learn to forgive and not allow the incident put you in a vengeful mode. It will only make matters worse. This also has the ability to hurt the other person and in some cases involves the taking of lives. You might scream, how is this possible? Yes it is possible, and it has actually happened in some instances.
The situation you find yourself is not as important as the choices you make in such given situation. You need to bear it in mind that choices influences the quality and outcome of our life. Applying the exploration in this article in your life will put you in a position to curb the negative outcomes as a stepchild.
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