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STEPFAMILIES | Joint Parenting Conflict

Posted by : Dele Agbogun Posted date : July 25, 2014 In Marriage, Step Families 0

Parenting styles vary from one parent to the other as every parent has his/her unique parenting style. The parenting style of every parent is built on the upbringing, culture, association and location of the individuals involved. Two different parenting styles coming together are bound to generate differences. These differences will further generate divergent views which will have their toll on the people concerned.

The potential problems of Joint Parenting in stepfamilies are stated below:

1. Who will take responsibility for which child? The child’s school fees, medical bills, outing costs.

2. The perception of favouritism. The type of school the child attends, nature of gifts purchased, preferential treatment given due to different values attached.

3. Suspicion of the other person’s motives. The belief that the other person has ulterior motives aside the motives displayed.

4. The issue of Will. Who succeeds me? Will I allow my children to share their inheritances with someone that is not my biological child (ren)?

5. There is the tendency of the biological children becoming spoilt. The father or mother of the biological children stands the risk of subjecting the step child (ren) to hardship. When this happens, even though it looks like the step child (ren) is being maltreated, the end result is making the person a better person at the end of the day.

All these form the basis on which arguments ensue between parents. The way and manner these arguments are handled decides the outcome of such stepfamilies.

The essence of highlighting these potential problems is to draw the attention of parents in stepfamilies to them. The parents intending to begin a stepfamily should put all of these into consideration before they step into it. In the event that you are already in, it is meant to let you know that these are possibilities in your new found family. Your understanding and what you do in the situation you find yourself is very important. It will determine what will become of your stepfamily. The objective of this article is to help you deal with it so that you don’t split into another stepfamily. You might ask; what then should I do? Exactly what the next segment attempts to address:

1. You have to come to terms with the realities stated above.

2. You need to develop the inner strength and flexibility to accommodate these possibilities.

3. You MUST resolve in your heart that you will make it work.

4. You MUST be willing to let go of some trivial matters that may accompany this phase of your life.

5. You should be willing to deliberately dwell more on the positive sides than the negative sides of your partner.

6. The need to ask for God’s help. These are obvious circumstances that your human effort, irrespective of your knowledge will not be able to handle this. It is only with God’s help that you can wage through it successfully.

Adjusting to the piece of information given in this article will help you succeed to a large extent. Failing to deliberately work at it is attempting to build a castle in the air.

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