Being involved in a relationship where you love and you are loved is one of the major bedrocks of relationship. Love begets love. Any relationship where it’s only one person that gives love will most likely result in unhappiness, struggles, and strain, especially on the part of the person giving the love.
Your view of who you are has a direct link to your view of the other person. There is a sense in which if you feel life is not fair to you, you might likely have that unfair disposition towards your partner. If things were not working well for you, there is a possibility for you to assume that those things wouldn’t work well in your relationship. The past has a way of impacting our present. How you manage the transition between your yesterday and today will determine how tomorrow will turn out in your relationship.
According to Wikipedia, “Self-love has often been seen as a moral flaw, similar to vanity and selfishness”.
In 1956, however, psychologist and social philosopherErich Fromm proposed that loving oneself is different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric, meaning instead of caring about oneself, and taking responsibility for oneself. Eric Fromm proposed a re-evaluation of self-love in a positive sense, arguing that in order to be able to truly love another person, a person needs first to love oneself, in the way of respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one’s strengths and weaknesses)
Self-Love is not like merchandise that you can trade with, neither can you do a beauty makeover to earn it nor can you get it from mere reading inspirational materials. Self-love is a state of appreciation of oneself that grows from actions that support one’s physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Being in a state of appreciating oneself is to see good in your composition and what you do. This state of being should not be static, rather it should be progressive. This progression should also have positive influence on the physical and emotional state of your being. It is when you are in good physical and emotional state that you have the opportunity to offer same. The saying that you cannot give what you don’t have holds true in this case. There is also a saying that hurting people hurts people.
I will conclude this line of reasoning by saying that the atmosphere you carry around you has a way of altering the state of your relationship with your partner. You’ve got to love yourself first before you can have the capacity to love another.
Remember, you can experience bliss in your relationship!
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