A relationship where you cannot freely express yourself has the potential of enslaving you.
Taking you back to when you are a child. Do you feel restraint in expressing yourself? Just before parents conditioned you to mind how you express yourself, do you really feel any form of intimidation or fear?
I guess the answer is no to a large extent. Why do we as adults now find it difficult in most instances to freely do so?
So much has gone into us while growing up. What got into us through upbringing and background experiences conditioned us to act the way we do.
It implies therefore that what we know how to do best might not be our best after all.
The nature of the freedom of expression in relationships is one of the products of what the past experiences infused in us.
I want you to ask yourself this candid question.
Where do I get the mindset from that it is a problem for someone to express self freely to his or her partner. If you share this view, you will unconsciously make your partner with submissive tendencies to be conformed to your opinion. Always conforming to partner’s view or opinion will mould the individual into what he or she is not. It robs them of their individuality. You don’t get the best of someone if the person is prevented from fully expressing his or her individuality because that is the strength or flavour that makes the relationship unique.
For people that are self-sufficient or independent of their own mind, it will create a serious conflict between parties.
When you get your partner to conform to your view, you will get the person enslaved and subsequently will not get the best of the person.
Dealing with your partner to conform to your view has the following tendencies for the partner that has submissive nature:
It can prevent a partner from being who s/he is and discourages the person from contributing his or her best to the relationship.
It encourages hypocrisy and paints an outward look to people as if all is well when something is seriously going wrong within.
It has the possibility of repeating the cycle down the lineage of the family if not dealt with and nipped in the bud.
It prevents the relationship from attaining bliss. A blissful relationship is all about a sense of inclusion, belonging and involvement of value in the whole experience.
If you are married and find yourself in this situation, you need to first deal with the mindset that believes that it is wrong. Parties should express themselves freely while at the same time have a healthy conversation on any part of that expression that you are not cool with.
If you are engaged, you must be sensitive to your partner’s mindsets, beliefs and cultural bias. You need to watch out for the following traits;
Is s/he encouraging you to be the best you can be or not?
Is s/he fixated on personal opinions without accommodating a different viewpoint?
Do you know at least one or two people s/he respects and can listen to if reported to in case of any major disagreement?
Is this person flexible or rigid?
Is this person someone God can talk to and make him or her have a change in the decision(s) already made?
It looks laborious reading through this, but I must say that these are some indices you have to pay attention to in order to make a healthy decision and have a blissful experience in your relationship.
You should be able to express yourself freely without any form of fear or intimidation.
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