Be outwardly focused to add value to your partner in a relationship.
There is no one that enjoys a love relationship beyond what he or she is willing to sacrifice and give to the relationship.
You might get some results instantly or within a short time in some areas. We can have instant meals as seen advertised in some instances, but there is no instant bliss in a relationship.
You are going to experience what you make out of it.
How high a building gets is largely dependent on how deep the foundation and the nature of reinforcements that go into it.
How far “AND” well your relationship will go is dependent on how much sacrifice and commitment the two of you are willing to give.
Coming into a relationship therefore should be about give-and-take, not one-sided.
My counseling sessions revealed that where it is one-sided, the party giving is usually frustrated and angry at the end of the day. Meanwhile, the party that doesn’t give sees partner as unnecessarily overbearing and tends to trivialize what are issues to his or her partner. It is usually a tough one getting such a person to gain the right perspective, especially when you meet a rigid minded person.
In my view, there is no point getting yourself into any relationship “IF” you are not ready and willing to contribute to the comfort, joy, and fulfillment of your partner. Yes, I know; you don’t place your joy in the hands of another person, but we should all be mindful that we are relational beings that would likely offer our best when we feel special, valued, and wanted.
My conversation with you today is to avoid selfishness in your dealings with your partner. Once something is dear to your partner and it is naturally not to you, you have to make it become dear to you.
This is one simple way you can communicate to your partner that it is not only about you but the two of you. As simple as this sounds, it’s one effective way that has helped my clients, though approached from a professional point.
1. Note that it is not only about you.
2. Remind yourself that relationship bliss will not happen overnight.
3. Always remember that your partner needs your encouragement.
4. Be intentional about giving(Time, affection, resources, etc.) to the relationship. Until you deliberately do something, things remain inactive and tend to kill a strong bond among partners.
5. Start accepting and celebrating what is a priority to your partner. If you feel it contradicts your values, create an opportunity for discussion till you come to the point of agreement.
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